Talking Turkish (that is ‘Turkish toilets’)

This post is an answer to question recently asked during the Portland party about ‘Turkish toilets’. First of all, I’m surprised that no one has challenged the ‘political correctness of the expression ‘Turkish toilets’. Why Turkey? After all, up until the past twenty five years, ‘turkish toilets’ i.e. hole in the floor with two elevated footprints – you know like learning to dance in ten easy lessons – have been prevalent in Parisian bars and cafes, maids’ quarters in Parisian townhouse apartments, and still today at some highway rest stops outside of Paris.
‘Hole in the ground’ toilets are probably more common worldwide than flush toilets.
So, in answer to the question: How do I deal with ‘hole in the ground toilets’? (From a female perspective) Here are some tips:
1. Don’t wear your Chanel boots. (this will never be a problem for most of us!)
2. Skirts are much more practical. If you’ve read that it’s wise to wear modest skirts in third world countries, there’s an even better reason to wear a skirt. Depending on your modesty level, long skirts make nice tents. But short skirts are the best bet if you want to get out of a stall completely unscathed (and as quickly as possible).
3. Before you start traveling, if you haven’t been exercising lately, I’d definitely suggest doing some leg strenthening exercises. Take some tai chi or martial arts classes and work on keeping your balance.
If all fails, and you feel like you’re falling – fall forward, not back.